Why I feel the time has come…
I’ve been thinking about getting off social media off and on for a long time now. I’ve tried to embrace it, to convince myself of its merits, and to keep up with the trends (short of doing dancing reels), all while experiencing an increasing feeling of unease over the years.
To be clear, this isn’t about recent decisions and statements by Zuckerberg… it’s more of a culmination of the mindset as a whole that drives it and what I address below. I can’t blame the platform for people choosing to get their “news” from unchecked sources gone wild, or for our penchant for putting our attention on and promoting the most inflammatory posts without due consideration. That’s on us. But I can choose not to be a part of something that I believe has become far more destructive to our society than it is beneficial. It’s not in itself evil, but it plays on the basest parts of our psyche and profits from it.
Thanks to Cory Doctorow, the great tech critic, we now have a term for this decay process in online platforms – enshittification. Enshittification results from the convergence of two things: the power of platform owners to change how their platforms extract value from users and the nature of the two-sided markets – where the platforms sit between buyers and sellers, holding each hostage to the other and then raking off an ever-larger share of the value that passes between them.
John Naughton
What began as a novel way of keeping in touch with far-flung friends and family, and sharing my own life and adventures (with the added fun of visuals), over time started to feel more like a hamster wheel. An insatiable cog that always wanted more. You could argue that yes, I have free will and nobody was forcing me to be on these platforms, but the science is real folks – those dopamine hits are addictive. And the nearly universal use of Facebook and Instagram (not to mention X and Tik-Tok which I drew the line at..I mean who can keep up with that??) truly made it feel like I’d be putting my business in jeopardy if I jumped off the bandwagon.
I also see more ads than anything else now (including disturbingly frequent ads that have clearly been listening in on my happy hour conversations), and less of the people I actually follow – in favor of constant suggestions of those I should be following.
And far too late I realized how destructive it was for our kids – who were the first generation to grow up with social media and cell phones as the norm. I cringe when I think of how naive my husband and I were to what was actually happening without us realizing it. Now of course the evidence is being published everywhere, but back then it was still in the honeymoon phase.
“…Adolescence is the second biggest period of brain development and growth and, because of that, social media can have a big impact on the adolescent brain.”
Sarah Miller, Jefferson Health
It is one thing to give up sharing the personal side of life – I pretty much disengaged with Facebook some time ago (other than having my business posts on Instagram auto-post to my FB business page), but quite another to have become dependent on social media for reaching potential clients and think about losing all of that hard won connection by bailing off the platform.
But is that true? Would I really be losing connection with genuine clients or potential clients?
If you’ve spent years building connections or a business on these platforms, the idea of leaving can feel overwhelming. For small business owners, it’s more than just an account; it’s a community of loyal followers, customers, and a carefully nurtured brand. For individual users, it’s where milestones have been shared and relationships maintained. The thought of abandoning that hard-earned digital footprint is emotionally charged, even if the platform now feel misaligned with your values – and it does.
Yet, as more people like me consider leaving, the conflict is inescapable. How do I balance the desire to uphold my values with the fear of losing what I’ve built?
Well, as with so many things, there eventually comes a tipping point.
The impact on our youth and mental health in general, privacy concerns, ethical dilemmas, not owning my content, amplifying and rewarding emotionally charged content, creating an environment that prioritizes engagement over well-being (and increasing polarization), and frustrations with the algorithms have all added up to tip the scales for me. This conflict is particularly emotional for small business owners like me who feel torn between maintaining visibility and aligning their business practices with their values… but in spite of it being a bit terrifying, I’ve decided to jump.
I strive to work with and support values-driven businesses that care about other people and the effect their businesses have on humanity at large – who are working to make the world a better, healthier place for us all to live in. I believe we must look beyond just the monetary outcome of our ventures, and the idea of continuing to support platforms that clearly do not share that consideration is my tipping point.
I realize this decision is not for everyone – it may not make sense for every business, and I totally respect and understand that. And I’m not trying to be all self righteous either… I just think at this point it’s the right decision for me. Who knows what the future will bring – the landscape might change and I may decide to come back.
Lately I’ve been inspired by other small businesses who have left Meta with no regrets. Yes – sometimes they’ve had to adjust their strategy, but ultimately it has been a very positive change. It was scary for all of them at first, so I’m in good company. I’ve decided to do it in stages so my friends and clients will know where to find me, but while my accounts will still be up for a while for that purpose I’m going to be putting my online time and energy here on my blog and email list (where I own my content!) as well as my LinkedIn and Pinterest accounts. (Yeah I know LinkedIn is social media, but it’s more B2B oriented and feels like it holds more to the original intentions of these kind of platforms.) I’m also going to be more intentional about in-person, real world connections and events.
Leaving Meta’s social media platforms is an emotional and strategic decision, especially for small businesses and long-time users. It’s not just about losing a tool; it’s about letting go of a digital space that’s been a significant part of my journey. But as privacy concerns mount, mental health impacts grow, and ethical conflicts deepen, many like myself are finding that the cost of staying outweighs the benefits.
The good news? With thoughtful planning and a willingness to explore alternatives, I do believe it’s possible to build meaningful connections and maintain a thriving presence without relying on Meta. It’s not just a leap of faith—it’s a step toward a more intentional and values-aligned future.
Anyway, thanks for being here… it truly means so much to me. And if you’d like to know what I’m up to in life and business, and get tips and insights, please sign up for my newsletter!
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
Margaret Mead
